Obstacles as opportunities.

22 If you can practice even when distracted, you are well trained.

Photo by Alex Shuper on Unsplash

2018 was a difficult year. i had the physical loss of my mother, a contentious handling of her estate, my spiritual community was falling apart in unresolved harms, my wife’s dog was experiencing dementia & we were weathering the first glimpse the Dark Ages. It was the first year since i was 15 years old that i had a loss of faith.

There felt like countless obstacles to finding ground.

During Times now, i think on this year. Somehow, even in that space, i still found myself practicing. It didn’t look as tight & militant as it was before, but it started to become more pervasive– to everything i was experiencing.

It became a choiceless, choice.

i woke each morning & offered tea to the protectors with a bow.

Each time the dog woke us was an opportunity to get up, feel my feet on the floor & open my heart to her experience.

When my wife woke early, i used the irritation of sound & light, to wake to greet & make her coffee.

When i biked to work, i watched my inhale & exhale & the circular motion of peddling. In that moment, i was alive.

i would find myself on the meditation cushion– the time would vary– but i found stillness. Not too tight. Not too loose.

The ability to return to practice came because of all those seeming distractions. The distractions, from phenomenal experiences to my emotions, did not rule me but perked my awareness.

It was actually quite loving– giving myself spaces to rest, to fall apart, to obsess– trusting the moment to offer an opportunity for wakefulness.

Where are the spaces in your day when your mind wanders?

When you get distracted or reacted?

When you say this, too, is practice, what do you become aware of?